Unintended consequences
Divorce and co-parenting create unintended consequences. Mostly, we hear about the negative consequences of ending a marriage. Yet divorce can also be a gift we give our children and ourselves.
7 signs your husband’s having an affair
If you’re wondering if your husband is having an affair, here are 7 signs you he might be:
He spends a lot of time away from home. This could be working late or frequent out of town business trips.
He refuses to use the online family calendar, or participate in a locator app used by the rest of the family, such as Life360.
Truth and Reconciliation: a settler’s tale
My great-great grandfather, Thomas Malcolm, was not a nice person. He and his first wife had a son who never lived with them.
The son lived in care. At age 4, he fell down some steps (say the reports) and languished for about a week before he died.
When Thomas’ wife was pregnant with their second child, he reported her to the authorities as a bigamist.
She was convicted, and their second child - a girl this time - was born in prison. As their marriage had been moot, the baby was born a bastard.
The wife had been in care as a child. She married at 16.
Her first husband died in an accident when he was riding in the bucket, being pulled from a coal mine. I read the report on the Mining Association (UK) website. It was grisly.
Life without regret
When I was 18, I decided to live without regret.
I acted as if I had six months left to live.
Seriously. Every potential new adventure, I’d ask myself, “If I had six months left to live, would I regret not doing this?”
There was, in no particular order: Kalimantan (which you may know as Borneo), Moscow, St. Vincent, Dominica, driving to Mexico to study Spanish, and many more. Even a university degree, and work as a political activist and as a tree planter.
Most adventures were sublime. With a few, “challenging” was a polite euphemism.
Even giant pumpkins start small
I'm not a big Charlie Brown fan, and I don’t have a garden, yet this year I've grown a giant pumpkin.
Growing any pumpkin wasn't pre-mediated. When I went to the garden shop around June 20, I was looking for tomato plants. But there it was: a giant pumpkin.
To be precise: a Dill’s Atlantic Giant Pumpkin plant. My first husband and I visited the Dill farm in Nova Scotia, on our honeymoon. Since we divorced peacefully, the plant’s connection to my first marriage didn’t matter. Instead, because I’d been there, I was intrigued.
The pure whimsy of trying to grow a giant pumpkin, without a garden, starting late in the season ...
When I’m sorry doesn’t mean what you think: alt-apologies
Pay attention to the words you use and hear.
Especially when you're involved in a conflict and want to resolve the issue amicably. It might be divorce. A squabble with your business partner. A tiff with your sibling or a co-worker. Even a misunderstanding between a parent and a child.
In disagreements, some people use words to gain power.